I’m really not depressed right now, which is something.  I am, however, very, very anxious.  Well, not so much today, or at least not right now.  This morning was rough, but right now isn’t so bad.   In the past month or so I’ve added two new medications for anxiety.   In the past month […]

So, I have a confession to make.  I was crazy before I got pregnant.  Not as crazy as I am now, but crazy.  My official diagnosis (since my early 20’s, maybe my late teens…I’m a terrible historian) is Bipolar II.  Things have gotten MUCH worse since the pregnancy, but I had the diagnosis before. I […]

I’m trying so hard to remember that recovery is not a straight line.  I’ve worked with addicts in the past, and I can’t even count how many times I’ve said “recovery isn’t a straight line,” and “relapse is a part of recovery.”  It’s a lot harder to apply that wisdom to myself. I got sick […]

I have been so, so anxious the past few weeks.  I have lost 3 lbs in two weeks because I have been too anxious to eat.  I’ve had sleepless nights.  I’ve walked around feeling just plain terrified, and I’m not sure why. I mean I worry A LOT about all kinds of things…what will happen […]

I’ve been feeling really down this week, after having a couple of weeks of feeling much better.  I had started to think that maybe I was out of the woods, until this week.  Then I spent the last 5 days feeling sad and tearful and grumpy, and my first thought was of course, “Oh god, […]

Baby has started on solids!  Well, rice cereal.  And we’re going to give her some pureed sweet potatoes later today.  She’s growing and changing and experiencing new things, and it is so exciting!  I mean, really exciting.  As in, I feel excited.  I feel excited for her, and I feel excited to be having this […]

We’ve started thinking about sleep training.  Baby is almost 6 months old and she has us up multiple times per night, plus the hour-ish it takes us to get her to bed every evening.  We dread it, and honestly she doesn’t seem too happy with the situation either. When she was small and new, Baby […]

I’ve been working part-time for about a month now.  Honestly, I think that going back to work has been one of the best things I could have done for my mental health.  I quit my job while I was pregnant due to how sick I was, and being back at work is like getting a […]

I didn’t mean to go there with this post, but once I started writing, some stuff came out, so please be warned that this post discusses suicidal thoughts and feelings.  If you’re reading this, please take care of yourself and do what you need to do to keep yourself safe.       My appointment […]

My next therapist appointment is a week from tomorrow, with someone new, AGAIN.  I’m getting really sick of rehashing everything that’s wrong in my life over and over again for a new stranger.  Really, really sick. But.  Some things are going okay.  I’m working again, and that’s a Big Deal.  When I was at my […]